Baylor Bears

Big 12 Preseason Power Rankings, with a Musical (The Cars) twist!

It’s football season again. Everyone is upbeat and hopes there is a new wave of success coming towards their favorite program. It’s only perfect that we pick an upbeat, new wave band to fulfill all of those optimistic feelings (and possibly some not-so optimistic feelings). The Cars released their self-titled debut album in 1979, the same year Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury was born, and churned out numerous hits throughout the 80s. Despite losing lead guitarist Benjamin Orr in 2000, The Cars reunited for one more album in 2011. Now we will “Shake It Up” because “Tonight, She Comes”….college football that is.


No.1 TCU Horned Frogs: “Magic”

“Oh oh It’s magic when I’m with you. Oh Oh it’s magic. You know it’s true.”

-The TCU Horned Frogs were laughed at and mocked when they finished 4-8 two seasons ago. Entering their fourth season as members of the Big 12, it’s “magic” how one of the “little sisters of the poor” is a front-runner for the College Football Playoff and a power conference title.


No.2 Baylor Bears: “Moving In Stereo”

“It’s so easy to blow up your problems. It’s so easy to play up your breakdown.”

-Don’t let the coach speak fool you. Baylor regrets allowing TCU to come back and defeat the Bears. It’s been on their mind ever since. Let’s not forget about the recent problem with transfer player Sam Ukwuachu either. After an offseason fielded with constant questioning, the Bears hope “Life’s the same, it’s all inside you.”


No.3 Oklahoma Sooners: “Hello Again”

“I know you’re a dinosaur under the gun. I know you’re a dreamer who’s only just begun”

-Yes, the dinosaur is a reference to Bob Stoops. Yes, we know it probably fits Bill Snyder more, but Stoops current uninterrupted tenure is the longest in the Big 12. This song fits him perfectly as he says ‘hello again” to the Air Raid offense by bringing in a Mike Leach-educated Lincoln Riley as offensive coordinator. It’s also worth noting the Big 12 can say “hello again” to quarterback Baker Mayfield.


No.4 Kansas State Wildcats: “My Best Friend’s Girl”

“Here she comes again when she’s dancing ‘neath the starry sky. She’ll make you flip.”

-Kansas State fans continue dancing when head coach Bill Snyder walks down the sidelines of the stadium named after him. Opposing head coaches flip because he still finds a way to out coach them with old school football.


No.5 Texas Longhorns: “You Might Think”

“You might think it’s foolish, or maybe it’s untrue.”

-A lot of “experts” think this will be a down year for the Longhorns. As if they haven’t been down in the past few years, Texas is on the rise. The young offense will struggle early and cost them some non-conference games. The Longhorns may have the best defense in the Big 12 though, and Charlie Strong is no slouch of a coach. Don’t be surprised if this team wins eight games.


No.6 Oklahoma State Cowboys: “Heartbeat City”

“Oh Heartbeat City never stops. And all you need is what you got.”

-The Cowboys continue to churn out bowl appearances. It doesn’t seem to matter who is at the helm of the high-powered offense, but this team is a consistent winner under Mike Gundy.


No.7 West Virginia Mountaineers: “Too Late”

“I remember times. Things were pretty clear. Felt the pressure pawns, threw away the fears.”

-Remember the days of Bill Stewart and BCS appearances? Yes, it was during the days of the Big East. Yes, Holgorsen took the Mountaineers to a BCS game in the Big East too. Holgorsen was hired to win a national championship though. Oliver Luck is no longer in Morgantown, and Mountaineer fans miss those 9-to-10 win seasons. Holgorsen needs to win and win now.


No.8 Texas Tech Red Raiders: “Drive”

-“You can’t go on thinking nothing’s wrong.”

The song is about an ex-girlfriend who has gone insane. This is not a reference to Mike Leach or Tommy Tuberville. Although, the sheer mention of those two names drive Red Raider fans insane. This is more about current head coach Kliff Kingsbury. Tech fans love him and want him to succeed. But after a 4-8 season and nearly dropping a game to an FCS foe and UTEP, some fans may be coloring on the walls of their house as did Paulina Porizkova in this song’s music video.


No.9 Iowa State Cyclones: “Bye Bye Love”

“I can’t feel this way much longer expecting to survive.”

-Paul Rhoads took this program from the dark days of the Gene Chizik era to three bowls in four years. Everything he does is exactly what any football fan base and team want in their coach. The only problem is, the Cyclones are 5-18 in their past two seasons. That just doesn’t cut it. Either Rhoads wins this season or Cyclone fans sing this excellent tune.


No.10 Kansas Jayhawks: “Just What I Needed”, Bonus Track: “Let’s Go”

“I don’t mind you coming here and wasting all my time.”- Just What I Needed

“She’s laughing inside, cause she can’t refuse.”-Let’s Go

-Any media member who walked out because “oh, it’s just the Kansas coach” missed an entertaining press conference at Big 12 Media Days when new head coach David Beaty took the podium. Easily the most energetic guy at the event, Beaty is exactly the energy Kansas football need. Of course, the Jayhawk fans could care less about football. They’re too busy getting the celebration ready for an eleventh straight Big 12 basketball championship. Oh, and that bonus track is because Beaty had so much energy at Big 12 Media Days, even I was ready to put on some pads and hit somebody. I’m only 5-foot-4.

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