The Big 12 had a gloomy week, but it’s not because they went 8-2. Some teams had extremely high expectations while others are still just the same programs. One program had a complete meltdown. We thought about using the grunge era, but decided against it after the Big 12 Conference still compiled a nice 8-2 record. Green Day is more like a band who has some really great music, but can also make some really poor music. We did our very best to stay away from their post-90s days. One song off American Idiot made the list. To make up for it, we made sure to use five songs off the album Dookie (which we hope is not a synonym for how the Big 12 Conference is this season).
1.TCU Horned Frogs “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 23-17 at Minnesota
This week: vs. Stephen F. Austin
“So make the best of this test and don’t ask why. It’s not a question, but an answer learned in time.”
TCU isn’t going to have the offensive weapons that can lead them to the pinnacle this season. B.J. Catalon left last season and was a major piece of their success. Their victory against Minnesota is better most people give them credit for. However, it was more of a defensive victory than an offensive one. Trevone Boykin is going to need to do better.”
2.Oklahoma Sooners “American Idiot”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 41-3 vs. Akron
This Week: at Tennessee
“Now everybody do the propaganda and sing along to the age of paranoia.”
Green Day saw about a four-year span in which they couldn’t score a mainstream hit. Big Game Bob knows how it feels to be shun from the spotlight. American Idiot vaulted Green Day back into the spotlight, just as the Air Raid offense will likely vault Oklahoma back into national contender status. Oh, and the lyrics pertain to how the entire offseason was more about Joe Mixon, Baker Mayfield and other off-field stories that surrounded the Sooner program. Oklahoma now hopes people start talking more about their success on the gridiron.
3.Kansas State Wildcats “When I Come Around”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 34-0 vs. South Dakota
This Week: at UTSA
“No time to search the world around ‘cause you know where I’ll be found when I come around.”
Bill Snyder can be found in Manhattan, Kans. and Kansas State can be found in the top half of the standings. Yes, the Wildcats defeated an FCS team. Not all Kansas squads can say that though. Anyways, Snyder’s “heard it all before, so don’t knock down my door.”
4.Oklahoma State Cowboys “Warning”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 24-13 at Central Michigan
This Week: vs. Central Arkansas
“This is a public service announcement. This is only a test.”
The Cowboys are good. They look like they will be bowl bound again. Going on the road against a MAC team is not an easy quest. Many Big Ten teams have fallen victim to this trap, and Oklahoma State has been upset by non-power five schools before. Keep this team on your radar. With a steady quarterback in Mason Rudolph, the Cowboys have a shot to contend.
5.Baylor Bears “F.O.D.”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W at SMU 56-21
This Week: vs. Lamar
“Let’s nuke the bridge we’ve torched 2,000 times before.”
The Bears have played SMU three times in four years and scored at least 45 points in all three meetings. The Bears, who may have been hurt by their cupcake non-conference schedule in 2014, will continue their cupcake non-conference schedule with FCS Lamar before playing Rice. Also, they weren’t very impressive against SMU. That defense is atrocious, particularly in the rushing game.
6.West Virginia Mountaineers “Welcome To Paradise”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 44-0 vs. Georgia Southern
This Week: vs. Liberty
“It makes me wonder why I’m still here. For some strange reason it’s now feeling like my home and I’m never gonna go.”
West Virginia is now into scheduling cupcakes just like every other Big 12 team. They’re still an odd team for the Big 12 to have, but they are 1-0. Unlike most Big 12 teams (okay, calm down Kansas State fans, you’ve got Bill Snyder), they actually shutout someone. And unlike Kansas State, their opponent is actually in the Football Bowl Subdivision.
7.Texas Tech Red Raiders “Brain Stew”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 59-45 vs. Sam Houston State
This Week: vs. UTEP
“My eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed. Dried up and bulging out my skull.”
45 points to an FCS squad? Yes, Sam Houston State is a quality FCS squad. Yes, it was David Gibbs first game as Tech’s defensive coordinator. There were some good moments for that defense. Still, Red Raider fans are going to be “having trouble trying to sleep”. The jury is still out on the rush defense with UTEP and Arkansas, two quality rushing teams, coming up next. Also, a shout out to the fans who stayed after Jones AT&T Stadium ran out of $5 water like it does every year during the first game. Here’s some more lyrics just for you: “My mouth is dry. My face is numb.”
8.Texas Longhorns “Basket Case”
Record: 0-1 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: L 38-3 at Notre Dame
This Week: vs. Rice
“Grasping to control, so I think I better hold on.”
One game and there has already been a demotion. Assistant head coach Shawn Watson has already had the play calling duties stripped from him. Charlie Strong does not seem to have the support of the fan base period. The offense racked up 163 total yards in week one. The defense could not get a breather. This is an awful trend.
9.Iowa State Cyclones “Nice Guys Finish Last”
Record: 1-0 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: W 31-7 vs. Northern Iowa
This Week: vs. Iowa
“Don’t pat yourself on the back. You might break your spine.”
Iowa State has struggled against FCS foes in recent years. They got the best of Northern Iowa this year. However, the Cyclones have beaten rival Iowa three of the past four seasons. If Iowa State is to make a bowl, they need to finish their non-conference slate 3-0. Even that may not be enough, but it will give them a tremendous start and Paul Rhoads a chance to return in 2016.
10.Kansas Jayhawks “Longview”
Record: 0-1 (0-0 in Big 12)
Last Week: L 41-38 vs. South Dakota State
This Week: vs. Memphis
“I sit around and watch the tube, but nothing’s on. I change the channels for an hour or two.”
Okay, I admit it. The next two verses are more like it as Kansas fans just sit and wait for basketball season. I might get in trouble if I quote one of those lines though. Seriously, head coach David Beaty is the right man for the job. Unfortunately, Kansas football is just that bad. And in reality, Kansas fans could use the entire song to detail their football season. We’re only a month away from basketball practices.
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