What to Get Each Big 12 Football Coach for Christmas
Merry Christmas, everyone. The holidays have finally arrived as Santa has made his way into town. No matter if they have been good or bad this season, I thought I would give a gift to each Big 12 football coach this year. Get the trash bags ready because it’s time to open some gifts!
Texas Head Coach Steve Sarkisian
A Signed Brett Yormark Picture
What Texas has done this season has been incredible. However, do we remember the comments Brett Yormark made about the Texas Tech/Texas game before the season started? I feel like those comments motivated Texas greatly and why not give them an extra boost before their College Football Playoff game vs. Washington?
Baylor Head Coach Dave Aranda
A Bible
I know Baylor is a Baptist school and I am sure there is plenty of prayer around campus, but Dave could use some prayers to help save his job next season. Nothing has gone well for Baylor’s football program over the last two seasons and hopefully a bible could help guide his prayers because it’s going to take plenty of praying to turn that program around.
Texas Tech Head Coach Joey McGuire
A Journal
As much as I like Joey McGuire, I felt like this past season was too much talk and not enough action. Instead of telling the world that everything runs through Lubbock, maybe this would help him write down his thoughts instead of saying them out loud.
TCU Coach Sonny Dykes
Throat Spray
I feel like every time I watch a TCU game, I see Sonny yelling at the refs. I figured his throat probably gets a little sore from time to time so why not give something that will help him keep yelling at the officials?
Houston Head Coach Willie Fritz
A Sledgehammer
Why a sledgehammer? Because I want Willie Fritz to take a sledgehammer to that entire football building that Houston has to tear down any stink that Dana Holgorsen left there. Tear it all down and build it back up.
Oklahoma State Head Coach Mike Gundy
Hair Gel
It’s been a few years since Mike Gundy rocked the mullet, but this would be the perfect time to bring it back. He would have all offseason to grow it out and have it ready for the spring game. Hopefully, this hair gel would convince him to grow it back out.
Oklahoma Head Coach Brent Venables
A Picture of the Big 12 Championship Trophy
Since Brent wasn’t able to win one before he left the Big 12, I thought it would be nice to get him a picture of it to keep in his office. Plus, it might be awhile until he sees a real one anyways.
Kansas Head Coach Lance Leipold
A New Office
If there is anyone coach on this list that deserves a new office, it’s Lance Leipold. I saw that Kansas was tearing down and redoing the football stadium so why can’t Lance get a nice office? The man has done wonders there.
Kansas State Head Coach Chris Klieman
Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts
During a press conference, someone asked Chris Klieman what his favorite Pop-Tarts flavor was since his team is playing in the Pop-Tarts Bowl. He said it was chocolate fudge, but he didn’t have any in his house. I say that the bowl game should send him home with an entire palate of chocolate fudge Pop-Tarts.
Iowa State Head Coach Matt Campbell
His Own Beer
There have been several beers that have come out in the state of Iowa that represent the Cyclones. Iowa State has Ames Lager as well as a few others. However, nobody has come up with a Matt Campbell beer yet. After the job he has done there, why not have a beer named after him? Someone please make it happen.
Cincinnati Head Coach Scott Satterfield
Cincy Light Beer
After the season Cincinnati had in 2023, the folks over at Rhinegeist Brewing should give this man enough cases to make a chair.
West Virginia Head Coach Neal Brown
Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon
As a bourbon enthusiast, Pappy Van Winkle is one of those rare unicorn bourbons that you often hear about but never see. And if you do see it, it’s marked so high you may need take out a five-year loan to pay for it. I thought since Neal Brown did such a remarkable job this season, he deserves something special for Christmas.
UCF Head Coach Gus Malzahn
Case of Energy Drinks
Call me crazy but I feel like Gus could use an energy boost during games. I have noticed that his team will start games off well and then fade in the second half. Perhaps an energy drink or two get help him.
BYU Head Coach Kalani Sitake
A Watch Stuck in Mountain Time
For whatever reason, BYU played like a completely different team at home compared to when they were on the road. To make him feel at home, I thought getting him a watch stuck in the mountain time zone could help him relax a little bit so no matter where he goes his watch will be stuck on mountain time.
